The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
You are the jesus of drinking
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
