I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
