she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Randomize
