Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize