Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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