I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
