This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
