Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I think I am morally bankrupt
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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