oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
