Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
