By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Randomize
