I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
