i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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