Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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