We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
How's work?
Spinning.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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