My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
