i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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