I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
