Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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