Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
