I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
