So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Randomize
