There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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