i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
