So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
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