Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
