two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize