Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Terrible idea I love it
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
