Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
