so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
false alarm. still invincible.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize