Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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