I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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