Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
