First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
