I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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