honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
He better not be in your backpack
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
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