Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
