I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
please don't ironically join a cult
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