I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
