I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
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