Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
