Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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