I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
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