I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
