If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
of course. lets lasso hookers.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
