Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
