i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Randomize
