tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
