he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Randomize
