before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
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