Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
