??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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