What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
