she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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