After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
You ate ashes out of my bong
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
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