did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
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