Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
