remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
