when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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