wrigley field is MILF paradise
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
