i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
