Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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