Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
